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Berlin’s Berghain is infamous for its hedonistic reputation, but what lies inside this dungeon like space, is a mass of harmless human bodies and lost souls seeking connection and freedom through music.

Space is unsurprisingly disorienting to the senses, almost like time and space don’t exist.

There are pockets of darkness (some I chose not to visit) but I also found some pockets of light, although a bit harder to find. Almost like the human brain – with its darkest corners and its exciting rushes of happiness.

In spaces like this (and often other nightclubs in Berlin), it’s so easy to criticize what you see. What is challenging is to accept unusual expressions of others and let be. Interestingly, although it can seem like a very stuffy and hot space, my body was just ok inside, almost like I enjoyed being so close to other sweaty humans.

As I continued my journey into this space, I was so intrigued by those dancing to what seemed like an unending fast forward techno beat. I passed them, feeling a vast distance between what we were both experiencing, until I found myself, some time later, engulfed into the vortex. I was standing there, taking it all in. The longer I stood, the more I felt the energy absorb me into itself. Physically, it felt like my body was a magnet to this vortex and no matter how hard I tried, I could not move. The music that was so loud became part of the background and I had an urge to close my eyes and go within.

Visually it looked like dark colorful orbits would expand until they would dissolve into explosive lights. I started to realize I could be there forever, like time did not matter so much, neither did my life nor the stories I tell myself.

Yet, I felt how much power lied inside of me, almost like a Goddess emerging from within.

My sense of self started breaking down. I could almost see the social constructs I have identified with starting to overwhelm me. The more I eased into my experience, the more I started to surrender into the feeling. I found myself letting the stories go and as I was letting go of those stories, I physically let go of my hands and my body and dropped my drink into the floor (without even blinking about it).

I went outside to the ground and laid on the ground for some time until I regained my force to get up and leave. While my friend was ready to continue throughout the night, I was done with this place.

I could finally understand how one could spend days lost in this space but I loved my sleep so much more than to spend it there.

Berghain is not just a club; it’s a portal to another dimension. It triggers a switch in perspective, a moment where the auto-pilot turns off, which I must admit is so rare in the everyday world. It’s a place where you can dance with your deepest fears, free yourself from your reality, lose yourself but also find yourself (?).